I could only handle a drawing...even this one disgusts me. *shivers* Looking at a real picture of one caused me to gag, get goosebumps, and quickly exit the page. Besides spiders, they are the creepiest and nastiest of bugs. ick. They're one of my big fears. Sounds stupid, but I've been scarred! One time I was walking around and one jumped on my chest and stared daggers at me with its buggy eyes while I screamed and hollered. I attempted to remove the pest from my shirt yet I couldn't do so without touching it. hm. But my most memorable (and hilarious) time was last year while going to see Texas.
So there we were *dramatic pause* driving down into the canyon, and I really had to go to lady's room. I mentioned stopping to Papa but I don't think he heard me, so we passed about five bathrooms and I'm kind of frantic. *AHEM, this is Maddy, Morgan's sis. this is what REALLY happened...she kinda WHISPERED her situation to me. Of course they didn't hear from the front seat, I barely did! ahem...yes.* Finally my dear sis saw my distress and said to please stop. So we did. As I ran towards the bathroom with Nana and sister trailing behind me, Nana said to watch out for snakes. great.
Side note: I am NOT a country girl. But I'm also NOT a city girl (can't stand the city). I can't handle bugs, but I can tolerate snakes...sort of. Also note worthy- I was wearing one of those maxi dresses that are nearly floor length (bad choice to wear in the canyon!) This in mind. I will finish my tale.
So I'm thinking hope I don't get eaten by a big snake, or bitten by a poisonous one while flinging open the door. I scanned the ground. It was all clear. I go to a stall door and as I shut it behind me, I turned and EGAD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME is the BIGGEST grasshopper I've ever laid eyes on!! You can be sure I let out a yell that might have made even the walls of Jericho tremble. My poor sister and Nana, thinking I was being mauled by a villainous snake came running in yelling WHAT'S WRONG?! I could not answer (I'm still screaming) because to my absolute terror the foul beast was inching upwards to a more suitable position to pounce on me (I knew it's evil intentions, to be sure!) while staring at me with it's big, empty eyes. I reflect, now, and think, wow, that's stupid I kept screaming, my mouth WIDE open and everything, when that bug could have leaped into my gaping gullet. Thank the Lord that didn't happen. I might not have recovered. So while screaming it backed up far enough where I was able to fling back open the stall door and leap for safety. I don't think I've ever moved that fast before. I gasped with relief and Nana and Maddy stared at me looking terrified and I told them that a bug just about killed me (it's true). Of course, Maddy gave me a look of contempt that spoke louder than words, and Nana goes to inspect this "killer bug". She agreed with me saying it's the biggest grasshopper she'd ever seen. I then chose the stall furthest away from Creepy Bug, tho of COURSE after thoroughly inspecting it for no more hidden terrors.
I went to wash my hands at the sink (and surprise, surprise, no soap)and while rinsing them, I thought, what a funny looking counter with black dots all over. I leaned down closer for a better look. My goodness 'twas no mere specks!!! It was bugs; some dead, some still twitching! I yelped and flung myself backwards. Utterly disgusting. And then, as we were walking towards the door, I saw a hornet flying around above the door and I was like, OH NO! because flying insects with stingers just seem to know about my loathing and fear of them, and so they ALWAYS dive bomb me! no joke! I said something and Maddy's like, no big deal. leave it alone and it'll leave you alone. not so. I took a deep breath, determined to be brave, and suddenly it flew right towards me, buzzing loudly. I screamed, flinging my sister out of my way (she was going slow as Christmas), hiked up my long dress to my knees and flew out the door like the devil himself was after me. I finally made it to the car door (yes, I did check to make sure my family made it out alive) then sank into the seat, thankful that I was still in one piece. My papa said he heard me screaming even from inside the car. hehehe, oops. Once everyone was back in the car, me, Nana and Maddy burst out laughing for at least five minutes. Good times.
Thankful that nothing happened like that this year. Though we did have some good laughs!
TO BE CONTINUED....;)
Next time - a creepy critter, and vandalism to Cadillacs.
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